we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
