I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
