Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he thought i was a dude.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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