how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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