My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My penis needs a shock collar
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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