I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
