He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me too!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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