Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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