You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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