Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
