Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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