My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
