i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
