You're so nebulous sometimes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
