Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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