it's not cheating when I paid for it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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