You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
