just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
