if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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