Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
