Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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