You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
