He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize