Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
