She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
