she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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