So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize