I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
