I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
