I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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