when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
