Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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