It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
