I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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