Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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