I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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