When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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