Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
