Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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