whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
