Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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