Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
