Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
