i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
