You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
