whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
