I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
