I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
