ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
