there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
