I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize