Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
