This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
