Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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