coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
