I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
