so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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