Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
