Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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